Train Tourists.

That's my train up there, the D line. Somehow I wasn't on it that day, imagine that. Every other possible thing has gone wrong on that line since I have been here.

So...I was on the green line trying to make my way home when I saw them all, all these people in their black and yellow jerseys. Bruins fans riding the train to the game, too cheap to cough up the money for parking at the arena, clogging my route, and making a mess of things.

Now, these people do not normally ride the train. They are train tourists.

I ride the train every single day.

I got to Government Center to switch from my out of service train to a Lechmere train. Don't ask me why my train goes out of service every day at Government Center. The train can't make it the final four stops? Are you serious? Yes, apparently they are.

But I digress, the point is, I knew the Lechmere trains would be packed. It was a sea of yellow and black, hockey fans everywhere, chomping at the bit to get to North Station. They're loud, rowdy, pushy, and mean.

Sure enough, the Lechmere train pulls up, and it is packed. Packed! The windows are fogging up from all the nasty hockey fan breath. I expected some people to get out, but no one did. There was room enough for maybe two people to squeeze in.

Now, you have to remember, I am already 1.5 hours into my nightmare commute home at this point. And the Lechmere train only comes about every 30 minutes. There was no way in hell I was going to let this train leave without me on it.

A very large hockey fan squeezed in before me, I squeezed in after him, and there was no more room, but a woman behind me was trying hard to get on. Not happening.

He had the NERVE to say to me, "You cut her off! Honey, she cut you off! That lady cut you off!"

No, sir, you need to get something straight here. You are a train tourist, this is my train.

Got that? MY TRAIN.

And if you had better believe that if it comes down to me, a daily commuter, 1.5 hours into her commute home, and your train tourist wife, it is going to be me.

I win. Always.

(And the next time someone in black and yellow, or solid green, asks me if the Lechmere train stops at North Station, I am going to smile, and say, "No, the Lechmere train runs express.")